Toeing the Rubber

So Chipper Jones has just had enough of the Mets and the Phillies - especially Cole Hamels, Jimmy Rollins and Carlos Beltran.

These two teams are constantly going at each other verbally. You know, win with class, lose with class. Just keep your mouth shut and go play your game.

Dwight Evans Photo by Elsa/Getty Images

I’m not a big fan of folks using the word “class” whenever they discuss sports, but since Chipper brought it up - let’s talk about class.

Is class schtupping a Hooters waitress and having a child with her while you’re married to someone else?  Destroying a marriage that spanned almost seven years and produced a son just to get your rocks off with another woman?  Is that how class is defined these days?

I get it.  That happened off the field.  Doesn’t matter what happens off the field as long as you stay classy on the field, I guess.  Every ball player cheats, so cheating on your wife and child isn’t indicative, really, of what type of person you are, is it?   Cole Hamels is without class because he called the Mets “choke artists” during a radio interview?  Let’s get THAT quote, shall we?

…he was asked outright, “Do you think the Mets are choke artists?”

“Last year and this year I think we did believe that [they were choke artists],” he said. “Three years ago we didn’t because they smoked everybody, and I think we all thought they were going to win it all. Unfortunately that didn’t happen. But, yeah, that’s kind of what we believed and I think we’re always going to believe that until they prove us wrong.

“For the past two years they’ve been choke artists.”

Not exactly evil sounding, is it?  Doesn’t even sound all that “classless” to me.  Maybe Chipper’s too busy banging waitresses to look up the meaning of the word?  I believe if Chipper is so eager to become relevant again that he’s going to throw himself into this fray, well, maybe he should choose his words more carefully.  I look at Chipper Jones and, in all honesty, the first thing that comes to mind is “he cheated on his wife with a Hooters waitress”.  I don’t think about his stats.   Not about how good he was or all his success with the Braves.

I think about what a scumbucket he is.

So when I read that he’s calling others out for being classless it really got a chuckle out of me.

In any other field, your morals and your standards define what kind of person you are.  No one says “He’s a great accountant.  Sure he cheats on his wife and shoots up, but he’s a tax wiz!”  People call that guy an ass behind his back, because that’s what he is.  In baseball, the type of person you are off the field only seems to matter when you’re a good guy.  Everyone wants you to know that this player devotes a lot of time and money to charities or that player spends all his free time with his elderly grandparents.  We get beaten to death with those stories.  But you’ll never hear about a pitcher touted as a fabulous guy who was screwing a groupie while his longtime girlfriend was planning for their future or about the married catcher with a different girl in every city his team visits.  The press knows these stories, the players know these stories, and they all ignore them.  You’ll read everywhere about what wonderful people these players are.  Great guys, a tribute to their teammates…but you’ll never hear about their personal lives.  Because it doesn’t matter, right?  They’re fabulous players and all their teammates love them so who cares if, when they walk off the field, they have no problem cheating and lying?

I have a problem rooting for these men.  I do it for some on my team, so I’m a bit of a hypocrite here.  But I’m not whining about the lack of class in an area where I’d be throwing stones in a glass house.  Chipper is surrounded by glass and he needs to mind his own business.

Chipper also needs to get the hell off his high horse and leave the likes of Cole Hamels alone.  The Braves finished in 4th place in 2008 and third place in 2007.  Maybe he should focus on helping to improve his team instead of whining about the way other players are handling their successes?

I’d like to know why so many Boston sports writers (and Boston sports fans) are using the “If you say that the front office didn’t screw up you’re in denial” or “If you say you didn’t want Teixeira on your team you’re lying” arguments against any Red Sox fans who aren’t devastated that Mark Teixeira is in New York.

To me, this is akin to saying “If you don’t agree with my opinion, you’re stupid”. Way to connect with people. folks.

I could have taken or left Mark Teixeira. I know he’s a good player (although, I’d like to know when he became the best player in MLB? He’s not, folks. He really isn’t. So to the people who keep telling me I’m in denial or lying, I tell you to stop over-hyping this guy in the name of Sox bashing.) but I wasn’t champing at the bit to get him. Let’s see, we’ll move Youk back to third, find a team where we can ditch Lowell, carry the one…it just didn’t mean that much to me to get him. We were a healthy Josh Beckett away from the World Series this year - I don’t look at the Red Sox and think “Holy hell!!!! Theo hasn’t done ANYTHING this off-season, we’re DOOMED!!!!”. Good for you if you do but stop trying to drown me with your negativity.

Remember the off-season of 2003?  Sure you do.  Everyone and their brother had us signing Alex Rodriguez including, for a time, Alex Rodriguez, right?  Back then, I was a regularly posting member of the Red Sox Fan Forum over at redsox.com.  The place was abuzz for weeks with talk of getting ARod.  I forget the specifics, but wasn’t the plan back then to trade ARod for Manny Ramirez and then trade Nomar Garciaparra for Magglio Ordonez?   I HATED this idea, long before it all went south.  And there were many, MANY people willing to voice the same opinion over at redsox.com.  Then once everything fell through and Slappy ended up with the Yankees, from out of the woodwork came the people taunting those of us who didn’t care.  “Oh you have to say that to make  yourself feel better about your team screwing this up!” was a common refrain.  No, I said it because I didn’t want to lose Manny and Nomar for ARod and Magglio.  Don’t care now and didn’t care then if people thought I was choosing loyalty to players over improving the team (which, in a sense, I guess I was.  I just never liked ARod - never - and there are some players I never want to have to root for - he’s one of them).

Mark Teixeira isn’t one of them, though.  Never really had anything against him, but I like the way this team looks (for the most part.  Have I mentioned that we need a catcher?  I’d much prefer Theo sign a starting catcher right now.  Seems kind of an important piece of the team that is currently, well, MISSING right now.) and I didn’t see the need of signing a Teixeira just for the sake of doing so.  Wouldn’t have been too upset if they did (although the ultimate loss of Mike Lowell would have been greatly upsetting) but, again, really not devastated that they didn’t.

So the Sox didn’t get Teixeira and the Yankees did.  I’m not giving up tickets to the Red Sox games in protest, that’s for sure.  If anything, it’s nice to (once again) have a bit of a “bring it on” attitude in regard to the Yankees.  Rivalries are fun and the Steinbrenners just kicked it up a notch again.

But, seriously Theo, a catcher.  A catcher would be good.

…in spite of the fact that Brett Myers is a wife-beating asshole who also happens to be a liar.

Yet when Myers pitched the next day in Boston, he was alone. He heard the vicious chants. He says he was pelted by plastic beer bottles and trash when he warmed up in the bullpen.

Okay, raise your hand if you’ve ever seen a plastic beer bottle at Fenway Park. Put your hand down Myers, you POS.  No beer bottles in Fenway.  Nice try, though.

Honestly, though, I’m beginning to think his wife deserves him.

“We’re both pig-headed,” says Kim, who married Brett before a justice of the peace during the 2002 season. “But what people don’t know about Brett is how sensitive he is. I tease him about that. He’ll do everything for anybody, and he’s always tried to protect me.”

Yeah. I wish I had a husband who would protect me by dragging me down a street by my hair and slapping me in the face. Boy have I missed out!

I’m not sure what the most pathetic aspect of this story is: that Myers denies what more than one eyewitness say, that his wife is so wrapped up in the lifestyle that she accepts that kind of treatment or that, going along with the cowardice that is a wife-beater, Myers was going to BAIL on pitching in Fenway if the Red Sox won the ALCS:

But he couldn’t escape the fear of the Phillies’ possible World Series opponent. “I did not want to play Boston,” says Myers, 28. “If Boston had beat Tampa, I would have gone to (manager) Charlie (Manuel) and told him, ‘I don’t want to pitch in Boston.’

“I don’t ever want to pitch in Boston again.”

Because people in Boston know what you are, Brett. And you don’t like having to face reality, obviously.

What a man.

Edited to add this link from another story about Myers published today.

I’d never fired a gun in my life and, frankly, it was not on my bucket list. Myers didn’t care. He loaded a Glock 19 handgun. I squeezed off a few rounds and managed to hit the target.

Myers was not impressed.

He grabbed the handgun, held it sideways and began firing.

“That’s how the gangsters do it,” he said.

“You’ve been watching too many movies,” I said.

“This is a lot of fun for me,” Myers said. “I just like shooting.”

Well, that’s one way to make sure there aren’t any witnesses.

“Sometimes I like concentrating and seeing if I can hit the target,” he said. “Sometimes I just want to go Rambo-style - no focus, just hold the trigger down. Let it ride, see how much damage you can do to a target.”

Yeah, this guy’s just fine. No issues with violence at all. Nope. Nothing to see here.

Okay, not all of you, but the lot of you who were just on the news (and the ones who weren’t on the news but are in this group)  planning to “riot” if the Sox win tonight.

You people aren’t fans.   You people couldn’t care less about the Red Sox.  You people just are looking for a reason to go crazy and do some damage.

Do me a favor, any of you who plan on rioting to celebrate a Red Sox win, get bent.  Drop off the face of the earth.  Do anything that will make you no longer part of civilization because we’ll all be better for it.

Here is Posada with Ortiz and Youk rounding third and headed for the plate on a Lowell double...(Photo and caption courtesy of Kurt Busiek)

The strangest thing happened last night.  I was watching the Sox with my dad (I try to watch as many games as I can with him and my mother…they’re a lot of fun to watch the games with; it’s almost like being at the park!) and we turned on the Yankees/White Sox game.   Wilson Betemit hit what we found out to be a tie-breaking, pinch-hit, RBI double for the Yankees in the seventh inning - and I cheered.  Apparently, my dislike of Ozzie Guillen, currently, outweighs my dislike of the Yankees.  Go figure.

Back in 2001, when the “world” was, seemingly, rooting for the Yankees to win the World Series, I rooted for the Diamondbacks.  I watched game 7 of the WS with my dad at my side and my sister on the phone and the three of us screamed and cheered and cried (my sister and I cried…yes, we’re a little nutty) because we were so happy the Yankees lost.  We never fell into the “the Yankees should win because of 9/11″ crap (hello, anyone remember a rally cry for the Mets that year?  Didn’t think so.) and were thrilled that the evil Yankees  had lost to the “lowly” Diamondbacks.  (Up until October of 2004, that Game 7 in 2001 was what I listed as my “favorite baseball moment”.  Seriously.)

For years, my father insisted he wouldn’t ever root for the Yankees.   And then, suddenly and without fanfare, he did.  Not just last night, but in the games they played against the Rays as well.  Apparently, my dad wants the “cool hat” too.

He’ll always “hate” the Yankees (hell, I will too).  They’ll always be the “Evil Empire” or whatever other name  you choose.  (I prefer MFY.)  But nowadays, there’s no fear.  Hasn’t been since 2004, maybe even 2003.  They’ve become a footnote to the new, ultra-successful, Red Sox.  It’s a great feeling to scoreboard watch and then realize that you just don’t care AND that it doesn’t matter.

Which is why these quotes from Jorge Posada did  nothing but make me laugh and realize how times have changed.  For the first time since 1993 (thanks to Mariel for pointing out my goof!) they Yankees are probably not going to make the playoffs.  Jorge Posada (Sid the Sloth:  credit for the nickname goes to my sister Camille) is out of the rest of the season and it’s the final season at Yankee Stadium.  I’m not sure how much worse things could get in Yankee-land.  But Sid’s focus is on 2003.  Dude still holds a grudge against Pedro Martinez.

“I thought he was going to hit me in the head with a bat after we had the fight and he pushed Don Zimmer,” Posada said. “It was ridiculous. I mean, he throws at Karim Garcia because he’s losing the game. I mean, there’s no class.”

There’s so much wrong with that quote, I don’t know where to start. I’ll just leave it at this: Pedro got charged and tossed the guy charging him to the ground instead of allowing himself to be knocked over. Even Don Zimmer, the guy doing the charging, admitted HE was the one at fault at the time. Someone charges me, I don’t care who they are or how old they are, they’re going down. And I don’t have a pitching arm worth millions of dollars.

Pedro is having none of Posada’s bitchiness and responded today:

“When I pointed to the head, it wasn’t precisely to tell him that I wanted to hit him in the head,” Martinez said. “Nah. He’s a human being, he has a family, and I’m a professional. [The pointing to the head] was because he cursed my mom. I was telling him, ‘I’ll remember that.’ ”

Martinez said Posada should have known better than to insult a fellow Latin’s mother.

“He knows - he’s Latin, as much as he pretends to be American, he’s Latin - that cursing your mom in Latin America will get you into a fight,” Martinez said. “That’s something I would never do to his mom, because she doesn’t play. She’s not on the field. She’s someone you admire and respect, and I didn’t like that.”

Even today, with the Mets in a pennant race, Pedro is more relevant than old Sid, and that seems to be pissing him off.

So while I might not have the deeply burning hatred coming out of my pours for the Yanks these days, every so often one of them reminds me why I always will hate that team…even if I root for them once in a while.

...Ozzie Guillen gives me another reason to want to kick him in the gibleys.

On Michael Bowden:

“He got us on a bad day,” said Guillen. “He’s OK. He didn’t really impress me. He beat a team right now that is not swinging the bat well. The first inning he threw all fastballs. We’re a fastball-hitting team and we couldn’t get him. When you deserve credit, I’ll give you credit. He didn’t impress me.

“He was good enough to beat the White Sox tonight.”

Yeah, Ozzie, he was. The same White Sox who lead the American League Central division right now. He got your team “on a bad day”? Right. That’s all it was.  You don’t “give him credit” because you’re a horse’s asshole and a sore loser.

More, and less cranky, stuff when I wake up!

I’d love to complain about Okajima, Masterson and Papelbon messing with Crabcakes’ game and losing the final game at Yankee Stadium, but I can’t.  I only listened to the first couple of innings and then lots of hell broke loose.

So I’m using this space to vent because, well because I can.

I discovered this afternoon that my pocketbook had been stolen.  Right out of the bag I carry (it’s a small pocketbook), and right from my cubicle at work.  My office is pretty wide open but my cubicle is set in and I’ve never been worried about keeping my purse in my bag…yeah, someone came in my office while I was in the ladies room, grabbed my purse and bolted, without anyone knowing.  All my credit and debit cards were in there as was my driver’s license (with a truly hideous photo…) my home and work keys and my monthly t-pass.  Luckily, there was no money.

I call one of the banks I have a debit card with and they gave me a list of places the asswipe who took my bag tried to use the card.  Genius that this person is, he/she tried to use it at two different ATM machines, four different times…since my pin number isn’t something you could figure out just by having my license, they failed each time and locked themselves out of using the card.  I called all the other institutions I bank or have credit with and the person didn’t try using any of the other cards before I got them shut off.  So there’s that.

I still feel extremely violated, having this happen in a place that is pretty much my second home…and I’m pissed because I have a bit of a big weekend planned.  Tomorrow the Taylors get to go to Fenway, Saturday we say goodbye to Bridget, and Saturday and  Monday I’m supposed to be going to Pawtucket.  My emotions are running from being upset, to being nervous to being pissed…so the Sox losing one out of three games in a walk off courtesy of HGHiambi isn’t registering too high right now.

Oh, I also lost, pretty much, an entire afternoon at work and now will be working late to get the work done I couldn’t do while I was canceling all my stuff and ordering a new license.

I would  never dream of doing something so shitty to someone.  It’s upsetting me that someone was assholey enough to do it to me.

I think I  need a drink.  And a hug.